Signpost (Weber, Utah), 2006-04-011
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WEBER STATE UNIVERSITY Athlete tries The steroids, fails (y Mr. Potatohead art mashes at WSU see page 6 I see page 5 I I" f.. J Cwj.m'j SATURDAY, APRIL 1, 2006 wsusignpost.com VOLUME 68 ISSUE 79 ill , n zn LTuCQ n rwinrr i n u Li Li S I n n so) Interlibrary Loan comes to the rescue By Jason Staley managing editor The Signpost For the first time ever, parking problems at Weber State University are truly resolved. With the help of the Interlibrary Loan Program and a new federal government program, the U.S. Navy swapped a nuclear aircraft carrier for a legion of students to be shipped off to Iraq. The carrier is now a floating parking structure in the Ada Lindquist Plaza, commonly known as the duck pond. "It is the most effective parking scheme I have ever seen in my 42 and five-eighths years at Weber," said Lucas Cloudstroler, associate chair of the metaphysical engineering program. "Not only does it create more parking, it gets rid of a few students, creating even more parking and smaller classes." The way the Interlibrary Loan Program works, is it allows students to check out publications that are not at Stewart Library from other university libraries across the nation. The federal government decided to incorporate the Interlibrary Loan Program to the nation. Now the program allows state governments and the federal government to swap commodities and assets. The military needed approximately 6,000 new soldiers for the war, and WSU needed to resolve parking problems. Due to low campus involvement, poor math scores and needed parking stalls, See Parking page 7 t f The new aircraft carrier sits on the Ada Lindquist Plaza pond. The aircraft carrier was provided throu gram and will help relieve parking problems on campus. mOIO ILLUS gh a new government cooperation through the Interli KA1ION BY JASON STALEY brary Loan Pro- J(BW S , i , , ; - u . ' I ' f V -1 I v J j'l lc IK J II U SIR IK IN i BKAUY LEAVEK The Loch Ness monster frightened students yesterday as she found a new home in the pond near the Stewart Plaza Bell Tower. Metaphysical engineering professor and Scottish shaman Bruce Lotkhart said Nessie often migrates during the spring months, but this is the farthest south she has ever been spotted. r .....j ! i,j in. i i .. il mjw i mfmmmtmmmumm. jpto. .l iupii. . : pipnimn. ..mum, .mm ... -7 V, PHOIC) ILLUSTKAEION BY CORY DUCLOS Weber State University freshman Yolanda Papovic works sewing clothes in a sweat shop found on campus. Some students, like Yolanda, refused to stop immediately, because they were actually being paid more than their regular jobs. Sweatshop uncovered during construction By Cory Duclos news editor The Signpost Crews working on die Shepherd Union Building renovation were surprised after taking down a wall only to watch the dust settle on a small group of students sewing clothes. The 15 Weber State University students were found in deplorable conditions of a dark room widi scalding furnaces arid dripping condensation. All students believed they were participating in a class-related service learning activity, but in reality were making clothes to be sold at Mercado Paredes, a retail store chain in Guatemala. "Our professor didn't show up for class one day," said WSU Hgyplian hieroglyphic translation freshman Steven McFadden. "And then this strange guy asked us if we could help him look for his puppy. We all needed to complete service hours for die class, so we got in the van. I Ie closed die doors and next tiling we knew we were in a dar k room sewing." None of die students were able to identify die kidnappers and weren't sure how long they had been in the room. "I just remember thinking, 'This is slill better than watching reality TV shows,'" said WSU stunt and effects technology sophomore Kyle I laws. Some students even found the work somewhat enjoyable. "We just made a game of it," said WSU family night studies freshman Perky Lvans. "Whenever someone got done sewing something, I would sing the school light song. That way the work went by great, and we showed how much we support Weber State!" This game, however, didn't take away the tedium for others. "By die end of it I wanted to kill Perky," McFadden said. "I mean, I used to be really into Emo music and stuff and none of it was nearly as depressing as listening to her sing that song." The WSU Department of Fair Working Environments was outraged by the entire situation. "We have no idea who it was that did this, but when we find out there will be major repercussions," said FairWorking Environments Director Louis Pope. "People think that we're weak, but when we find the guy who did this, we're going to destroy him by destroy, I mean that if he is a See Sweatshop page 7 Disclaimer: The stories portrayed in this issue reflect the supposed humor and wit of the staff at The Signpost. The stories have been made up for the pleasure and enjoyment of students as they enter into April Fool's Day. However the Campus Calendar and all ads are real. This issue was not approved in any way by Advisor Allison Barlow Hess and a regular issue will return Monday.
|Title||Signpost (Weber, Utah), 2006-04-01, Vol. 68, No. 79|
|Creator||Weber State University|
|Contributors||Associated Students of Weber State University|
|Description||Weber's current student newspaper, the Signpost, first appeared on September 29, 1937. For two years prior to that time, campus news was disseminated via announcements posted on a bulletin board known as the "Signpost". As a result, the masthead of the first issue of the paper itself featured a rudimentary wooden sign with the title spelled out in rustic-looking letters. Over the years the paper has been published continuously, though the look, size and style has changed several times.|
|Subject||College student newspapers and periodicals; Weber State University|
|Publisher Digital||Stewart Library, Weber State University|
|Source||University Archives LD5893.W55 S5, Stewart Library, Weber State University|
|Rights Management||Public Domain. Courtesy of University Archives, Stewart Library, Weber State University.|